Saturday, November 17, 2007

Me...The Lonely Ghost

There are lots of reasons I haven't been around lately. These reasons have been brewing for a year and I'm tired. I'm so tired of so many things...

I decided in October that I'm indefinitely boycotting concerts. I am beyond sick of paying exorbitant concert ticket prices. Never in my life have I ever missed the following performers when they've been through town: Collective Soul, Marilyn Manson, Alice In Chains. I missed all of them in one month's time and it would have cost me over $200. Not to mention I would have also liked to have seen Tommy Shaw and Jack Blades when they were here, add another $35. There were a handfull of small shows as well like Winger, Warrant, Kings of Leon, add $65. That doesn't even include having a couple beers at each show. So yes, I missed them all in just 8 weeks. I've been wondering for years why I can't ever seem to get my credit cards paid off and now I know. I just paid one off last week. If I continue the boycott I'll have the other one paid in a few months. By not being a slave to concerts I have broken the chains of credit card debt.

For the last part of 2006 and majority of 2007 I have spent most of my time with guy friends instead of girlfriends. Having Morpheus as my "out on the scene" buddy from December-February, Tore as a companion through March and Mark as a boyfriend from April-October, it was easy to justify. Now that they've all moved on or moved away I'm back to rolling solo again and I have to face the disappointing truth about my dear girlfriends.

I find a great friend every few years...Christina, Andrea, Stefanie...and then they move away. I will never understand why the people I get the closest to never stay in Las Vegas.
Some of the girlfriends I have now are such beautiful people and I want nothing more than to be closer to them but because they have husbands/families, or spend all their free time at concerts that I can't afford (or more often listen to bands I simply don't like), or they have hobbies that I can't participate in like motorcycling, they are not always able nor comfortable with going places that I like or doing things I do. I wish I could find a way to spend more time with them somehow without feeling like a 3rd wheel or spending a ton of money on activities that I'm not into.
Other girlfriends I've had are either competitive & self centered or complete whores that get their self worth out of fucking everyone so that you literally can't go anywhere and actually meet a guy they haven't been with. If I were to go by the rule of not taking interest in a guy because one of my friends fucked him/dated him then that would rule out pretty much every single guy everywhere I go, even guys in other cities.
So, this is why I roll solo. For some reason I am unable to find female friends who like the same music/hangouts that I do or who aren't whores on a mission to create pissing territories everywhere.

Sometimes you might see me floating like a ghost all alone on a downtown street, or standing in a corner with a beer nodding my head to the music. I'll be taking applications for friends who have morals, a positive attitude, who like the groovy alternative rock bands, who like meeting up for dinner or coffee before going out, who can have a good time without getting plastered drunk and who have something else to talk about besides who they fucked last week.


Stacie said...

I hear ya Cari! I've been done with that scene for over a year now. I came to the realization that it wasn't fulfilling for me anymore. Maybe I'm getting old, my values shifted or I just grew tired of the same old thing? Who knows?

With all of the stress (and resulting lack of energy) I have recently endured it made it all too clear that for me to go anywhere it would just have to be more meaningful, damnit. Somewhere I could reconnect with people I care about, which is another reason I stay away from venues with really loud music. Connecting is a bit difficult when you can't talk/hear one another. Communicating via head-bobbing just doesn't cut it. ;)

So, if you're up for coffee, I'm your gal! I'm actually very excited about this!

With much love,

Your dorky, deaf, old and stressed out friend, Stacie

P.S. Wanna go to the annual Cactus Lighting at Ethel M's tomorrow night?

LenaBKNY said...

I always wished we lived closer to one you know I am always in need of a concert/ coffee house buddy etc.
As for the concerts, those bands will still be playing when youre more financially settled. Right now, I know keeping up with your bills is the best thing for your Virgo soul! ;)