One Day I Thought I Was Gay

Another lost blog post from November 3, 2007!


I recently dated a guy who said he kissed another dude one time just to see if he might be gay. This was shocking to me. I had been boy crazy since I was 3 so I never thought to even question it for myself. The vulnerable admission triggered an old memory for me.

When I was 21, I had 2 jobs--one working for the county tax office and the other doing nails. There was a girl with long black hair named Nicole who used to come into the tax office to make payments on her mom's taxes on a regular basis. I used to hang out and talk to her for a while whenever she came in and I thought she was really cool. I found myself strangely attracted to her. It wasn't the sexual fantasy kind of attraction. It was like a "more excited than you should be to see someone" kind of thing. I guess I was excited to have a new friend. I eventually started doing her nails. She had exceptionally large hands. 

That's all I need to say in 2007 and you can simply assume the rest of this story. However, in 1992, such things were very uncommon. All I knew of such things was The Kinks song, "Lola...L.O.L.A...Lola..."

Back at the tax office, I was really troubled about it and decided to have a private conversation with one of my coworkers who was a gay woman that had once been married to a man and had a child. I told her about this strange attraction I had to our customer Nicole and I was concerned, could I maybe be gay?? She laughed so hard she spit her diet Tab across the table! Once she recovered, she assured me that I was indeed completely straight...Nicole was actually a man named Nicholas that was undergoing a sex change transition. She said, "You're so straight you're even attracted to women who used to be men!"

And there you go. The world is such a different place now than it was in 1992. I weep for lost innocence.

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